My Autism Diary

2022-08-03 (Wednesday)

8:40 AM

MR. ROCK

Good morning honey

I love the pictures of Maru and the dogs.

Maru looks happy, and the dogs are so cute.

I’ll listen to the video later.

I have to leave soon.

LYJUH

yes yes

good pictures

12:21 PM

MR. ROCK

I think you should talk to Dr. Lucien about being able to eat more.

LYJUH

I was trying to eat something in a bakery

a homeless came in and asked for food

I gave him bread

forgive me

LYJUH

I can’t see anyone starving

MR. ROCK

You did a wonderful thing for that homeless person.

LYJUH

I couldn’t see and do nothing... he was in rags and begging for food

MR. ROCK

What you did is wonderful.

LYJUH

I had a snack and a juice now

but just now, i haven’t eaten anything since i woke up

it’s very difficult

LYJUH

[pik of her]

eating for rock

MR. ROCK

How much do you weigh on the scale?

LYJUH

I try to eat for you

41 kg

MR. ROCK

Thank you! Is that better than before, or maybe the same as last time?

LYJUH

oh its the same...

MR. ROCK

I think you should weigh yourself at least once a week, and write it down in your diary.

Thank you for eating for me!

LYJUH

awnn

my husband

MR. ROCK

Eat for me and for Vin Diesel.

I need to go see the skin doctor.

LYJUH

good doctor for you

MR. ROCK

It’s just the annual checkup.

I’ll talk to you later.

4:58 PM

MR. ROCK

Hi honey, I’m home.

Did you see Dr. Lucien?

6:10 PM

LYJUH

yes yes

[pik of her, wearing mask]

I’m at the mall waiting for my mother to have dinner

I’m nauseous

I’m not hungry

Wed 7:13 PM

MR. ROCK

But you are beautiful!

Did Lucien say anything about eating more food, so you would have more energy?

8:34 PM

MR. ROCK

Honey, I’m going to bed soon.

I hope you are OK and I hope you can eat something.

I love you honey.

Have good sleep and snuggles with the boys.

Hugs and kisses!

[heart]

LYJUH

oh sweet

I’m trying to eat

then i’ll tell you what she said

MR. ROCK

Yay!

Good for you.

LYJUH

very hard to eat

[pik of her trying to take a mouthful (rice), making an unpleasant face]

[makes grunting, gulping noise]

I just want to take a bottle

hunf

MR. ROCK

Oh honey

LYJUH

[weeping]

I will explain to you why later

MR. ROCK

You are so beautiful!

LYJUH

awnnn

basically

eating involves many things

smell, texture, chewing, motor coordination, swallowing, feeling the food

and for autistic this is all very intense

so if I’m overloaded, I’ll have a harder time dealing with all the demand that eating requires

therapies will help me with this

but she had to help too

the doctors talk to her, but she doesn’t listen

That’s why I prefer to drink milk, in a bottle, because that way I don’t spill it, and because it’s easy to swallow

and i like soft food

like gnocchi, soft bread

MR. ROCK

Dinosaur cookies?

LYJUH

eating what i need is pretty hard

healthy food

MR. ROCK

You need to eat food so you can have energy.

2022-09-13 (Tuesday)

8:00 AM

MR. ROCK

Good morning honey.

I hope you are not in pain today.

I had a good meditation.

9:53 AM

LYJUH

hello angel

I have a headache and a sore throat

the doctor said it was kind of inflamed

i feel i’m in a phase of bad luck

I’m going to the hospital for a breath treatment, to improve my breathing

I have a blocked nose

and breathing through your mouth makes my throat worse

too bad to stay like this

MR. ROCK

Please check the bank account.

I’m sure you are not eating enough.

LYJUH

yes....

MR. ROCK

I think your biggest problem is to eat enough.

I also had bad nasal congestion for the last month.

It’s terrible not to breath through your nose.

LYJUH

omg

why?

MR. ROCK

I think I am allergic to pollen and dust.

12:01 PM

LYJUH

angel

fire

fire

angel caught fire in the building

I’ll speak to you soon

[3 videos pf fire personnel and people just outside the building at the ground floor]

I had to come running, there are firefighters everywhere

I took Stitch and ran down the stairs

I’m terrified

MR. ROCK

omg I pray for you and Stitch

are you wearing warm clothes?

should you call your mother?

LYJUH

I called, she’s coming, I’m crying desperately

I almost passed out from the smell of the smoke

the firefighters are here

12:46 PM

MR. ROCK

Honey, you did very well.

You saved Stitch and you saved yourself.

Thank God you didn’t have Maru and Tawashi at home also!

Maybe it was your intuition to just let them stay in the pet hotel.

LYJUH

I thank God so much because I was here close

yes yes

I went to a bakery to eat something before going to the hospital

so my neighbor called me and i came running

I couldn’t even eat, I went and I’m back

LYJUH

I arrived and there was a lot of smoke

MR. ROCK

Did you go inside to get Stitch?

LYJUH

the firefighters didn’t want to let me up but i said i had a dog there

MR. ROCK

Wow!

LYJUH

so he said go upstairs and hold your nose

I went running, 8 floors of stairs and I went screaming

other neighbors didn’t know about the fire

MR. ROCK

I’m glad you only had to get one pet, not three!

LYJUH

they ran away too

I took Stitch and ran, the smoke had already covered the whole floor

MR. ROCK

I wonder if someone had an electrical fire in their shower?

You are a hero!

LYJUH

I shouted and a neighbor heard and shouted to others

they thanked me later

had babies and children

everyone went down the stairs, no one could see because of the smoke

people shouted fire fire

MR. ROCK

Isn’t there a fire alarm in the building on all floors?

LYJUH

it looked like a movie scene

there was no alarm and no water

MR. ROCK

Holy shit!

LYJUH

down there were a lot of people crying and desperate

with animals and children

LYJUH

I called my mom and she just screamed get Stitch get Stitch

MR. ROCK

So when you went up for Stitch, no one had alerted the people inside?

LYJUH

no one!

I warned the people and one person was warning the others downstairs

MR. ROCK

I hope people will remember that you are the hero.

You spread the alarm! You are a hero!

LYJUH

from what i understand

a woman lit a prayer candle and placed it on top of the fridge on the 4th floor

MR. ROCK

Oh no!

LYJUH

it caught fire and consumed the fridge and kitchen furniture

MR. ROCK

I am always so afraid of fires inside.

LYJUH

I’m still outside here, no one can enter the building because of the smoke

I’m very sick of the smell

MR. ROCK

Someone should write for the newspaper that you are a hero and you spread the alarm and saved people.

Are you wearing warm clothes?

LYJUH

no no

I went out in simple clothes

LYJUH

oh angel

It was horrible

I’m still shaking

I didn’t eat anything, I’m out of breath

but the firefighters are attending to people who have inhaled a lot of smoke and are very ill

LYJUH

I’m sitting on the floor with Stitch

there is a lot of confusion and scared people

MR. ROCK

Can you go back for warm clothes?

You are already so sick from the cold weather.

Maybe someone could give you a jacket to wear?

LYJUH

We can’t enter the building! It’s filled with smoke, firefighters are checking to see if there’s a risk of more fire.

i’m so nervous i’m sweating

my clothes are wet

I’m so upset I’m so nervous

MR. ROCK

I wish someone would help you get a warm jacket or something.

LYJUH

I am confused.

MR. ROCK

If your clothes are wet, you really need to do something.

You might get even sicker.

LYJUH

It’s a lot of confusion, I can’t ask for clothes.

MR. ROCK

Did you give Stitch to your Mom?

LYJUH

there are a lot of desperate people

my mother hasn’t arrived yet

I’m kinda dizzy

the smell is unbearable

I’m going to ask for water

MR. ROCK

Go to the mall and buy something warm to wear.

LYJUH

I’ll be right back

I still can’t get out of here

I’ll wait for my mother to see if I need to go to the hospital

I inhaled a lot of smoke

if i don’t talk to you for a few hours don’t worry

maybe i should go to the hospital to make a breathing treatment and see if I’m okay

it’s a lot of confusion here

maybe i won’t be able to come home today

I’ll let you know how things turn out

my mother has work insurance

she might be in a hotel, i don’t know where i’ll stay

I’m going to ask for water

I’m very dizzy

I’m scared of fainting

I love you

there are people with animals in there

they want to enter and they can’t

looks like some animals died from the smoke

I’ll be right back

I love you

MR. ROCK

that is so sad.

If you have to stay by yourself in a hotel, it will be OK, but you will need to buy warm clothes and maybe an umbrella.

4:27 PM

MR. ROCK

Buy dry clothes, especially dry socks!

5:53 PM

LYJUH

hello angel, i’m in the hospital

I started to feel sick because I inhaled a lot of smoke

I already talk to you

I love you

MR. ROCK

that’s terrible!

You inhaled the smoke because you went back inside to rescue Stitch and warn people.

You saved many lives of people and animals.

LYJUH Ouchi

wow sweet

MR. ROCK

You should tell Dr. Claudio and Lucien so they know you are a hero.

Even tell Marco.

MR. ROCK

This will be a wonderful chapter in the book you are writing.

Also please tell Dr. Renan and your friends.

I think you should write it on Face Book.

LYJUH

i talked to dr renan, because i was feeling bad and i thought it was because i hadn’t eaten and i was scared

but he said i had signs of intoxication

and he said to go to the hospital asap

MR. ROCK

Smoke inhalation?

LYJUH

I talked to Lucien and she is very worried

MR. ROCK

Honey, you did save many people and animals.

LYJUH

oh angel...thank you so much

I did nothing

MR. ROCK

Is Lucien worried about the smoke inhalation?

Your Mom should at least thank you for saving Stitch.

LYJUH

yes everyone is worried because i have a weak lung

this can give fluid to the lungs and can kill

I’ll be right back

MR. ROCK

You have survived so many things.

Tuberculosis, ovarian cancer, and suicide attempts.

You have also survived your Mom’s cooking!

I think you will live at least another 20 years, and outlive your Mom.

Tue 8:31 PM

LYJUH

I will send you a hidden photo

[her bed in the hospital]

[a corridor in the hotel?]

MR. ROCK

wow

How is your breathing?

LYJUH

[pik of her in the hosptal bed, sucking on an inhaler?]

MR. ROCK

Oh no! Did you get some warm dry clothes?

LYJUH

I’m going to do tomography and x-ray

I love you

MR. ROCK

What about getting your autism medicine from the apartment?

You are so beautiful, even when you are sucking on an inhaler.

Tue 9:03 PM

MR. ROCK

Honey I need to go to bed.

I have to see the eye doctor tomorrow.

Then I need to go grocery shopping.

I hope you will have good healing for your lungs.

I love you and always remember that you saved people and animals today!

Hugs and kisses!

[heart]

LYJUH

angel

MR. ROCK

hi

LYJUH

[pik in the hospital?]

I will stay the night here

MR. ROCK

OK

LYJUH

I have my cell phone hidden

I’m going to do several exams

I’m kinda bad

I love you

[heart]

MR. ROCK

Are people going back to the apartment building?

LYJUH

[pik of MRI or CAT machine?]

MR. ROCK

That machine looks like a space ship.

Honey I have to go to bed.

I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

[heart]

1:37 AM

LYJUH

Hello Angel

It’s too late, I can’t sleep thinking about you

I had a very difficult day

it was all very tense and very scary

I wish you were here with me to hold me

I got scolded for using my cell phone to take pictures, photography is not allowed inside hahaha

So my mother brought my medicine, she thanked me for saving Stitch and helping people

I still can’t believe how I managed to go up and down 8 floors so fast, in the middle of the smoke

but i ended up breathing a lot of smoke

the doctor said it was very dangerous

if i passed out there i would have died

because no one would have seen me

and i could have been trampled or died inhaling the smoke

I almost passed out, it was all dark and very stuffy

I screamed in the middle of the darkness

people ran out of their apartments, with children, the elderly, animals

looked like a movie

many people ended up in the hospital

I feel pain when I breathe, I did tests and one of them was horrible, they took blood from my artery

my oxygenation is low and they are afraid i have chemical pneumonia

so I will stay here taking medicine in the vein, doing breathing treatment and under observation to see if I improve

I was here a few days ago

and i have to be again

I am upset

the building that had the fire is blocked

People couldn’t get in there today until firefighters inspected it.

I don’t know when they’ll release it, but I think they’ll be back tomorrow or the day after.

will see risk of collapse, fire, explosion etc.

As far as I know, the cause of the fire was a woman, who left the house and left a candle burning on top of the fridge.

the candle burned down the whole apartment

apparently it was a prayer candle

It was scary

I am exhausted

and in pain

love you very much

[heart]