I spent the next several days by myself, snowboarding the Himalayas, practicing Master Fwap’s “emptiness method” for perfecting my technique.
Gradually I began to get the sense that I was part of my snowboard, and that my board was an extension of myself.
My snowboarding rapidly improved.
While I experienced some of the most wonderful moments of my life during those few days, I also noticed that at times I was incredibly lonely.
Loneliness has never been a very precise feeling for me. Whenever I had felt lonely, I hadn’t felt that I missed anyone in particular.
It had always been more of a vague feeling of uncertainty, an unfulfilled longing for an undefinable condition, other than that which I was experiencing at the time.
I usually started to feel lonely each day about an hour or two before sunset.
It always began in the same way. I would notice that I wasn’t smiling anymore.
Then, as it grew stronger, I would begin to feel somewhat disconnected from what was happening around me, or from what I was physically doing at the time.
I had grown accustomed to feeling this way while snowboarding in the late afternoons in North America, but the feelings of loneliness were even more pronounced in the Himalayas.
I had nicknamed the feeling “cosmic loneliness” because emotions I felt at these times had an almost spatial dimension to them.
On the occasions when these feelings were most intense, I felt as if my mental perceptions extended beyond my body and this world, to something infinitely more powerful, and that my personal concerns were overshadowed by what I could best describe as these “otherworldly” feelings.
ॐ
Several days later I had the chance to ask Master Fwap about the incongruity of these feelings.
The powder that day was fresh and deep, and I had made a wonderful series of runs.
I had climbed back up the mountain for my last run of the day, when I saw Master Fwap was waiting for me, as if anticipating my need to speak to him.
He brushed the snow off an adjacent rock and sat down on it.
I sat down next to him on my snowboard, and made myself comfortable.
“Master Fwap, why is it that often I feel so lonely at this time of day? I don’t really have any reason to.
“Where does this feeling of loneliness come from?
“I know this might sound a little crazy, but somehow, it doesn’t quite feel like it is even my own feeling!”
He began, “There are many things to understand in life. And as you are beginning to find out, things are not always as they appear to be.
“Take different times of day, for example. It would seem that there shouldn’t be any significant difference between different times of the day, don’t you think?
“It would appear to be logical that all times of the day would be approximately the same.
“During the late afternoon and early evening, starting from about two hours before sunset and ending at approximately two hours after sunset, there is a specific dimension that interconnects with our physical world.
“This particular dimension can best be visualized as a series of horizontally shaped geometric planes that extend from wherever you may happen to be at that time of day, on out into infinity.”
“But Master Fwap, how can that be? Since the time of the sunset is constantly changing location on the Earth during a 24 hour period, does that mean that this dimension is constantly circling the globe?
“And why would it be connected to a specific time of day? Times of day are caused by the turning of the Earth in relation to the sun.
“Why would that have anything to do with the shifting of a different dimension?”
Master Fwap smiled at me. I could tell that he was getting a kick out of my scientifically-based Western logic.
He paused for a few moments and closed his eyes.
Then without opening them, as if he was deeply concentrating on something, he began to speak again.
“Life is magic. You need to accept this as a basic premise in any conversation we have about Tantric Buddhism, and the Buddhist view of the universe.
“Science tries to understand and explain the physical magic of life with theorems and experiments.
“We as Buddhists do the same thing, only we use theorems and do our experiments to explain and understand the non-physical side of life.”
“What do you mean when you say that life is magic, Master Fwap?”
“I mean that it cannot be completely explained or logically understood.
“But the truth of the matter is, many aspects of life cannot be explained through logic or reason.
“The reasoning part of the mind simply doesn’t have the capacity to understand many of the why’s and how’s of being and non-being.
“However, we do have another ‘hidden’ part of our mind that can understand.
“In Buddhism, we refer to this hidden part of our understanding as the intuitive, or higher mind.
“The ‘intuitive mind’ is non-physical. It is not part of the brain nor any other cellular structure in the physical body. It is part of the ‘causal body’.
“As I told you before, the ‘causal body’ is the part of a person that lives forever.
“It is what you would call ‘the soul’.
“It doesn’t dissolve along with the physical and astral bodies at the time of physical death, at the end of an incarnation.
“The causal body is the most ancient and timeless part of a person.
“It has the capacity to know and do things that the physical mind and body cannot.
“For example, the most concrete thing in the universe is matter. Scientists can explain quite a bit about matter. They know that it is formed of different elements, and that those elements are composed of specific atomic and subatomic structures.
“But while matter can be analyzed and the structures understood, scientists will never be able to understand why matter exists in the first place.
“It is the same in Buddhism. Buddhists who practice occultism, which is the scientific branch of Buddhism, seek to understand and explore the chemistry of time, space, dimensionality, and awareness.
“While the study of occultism enables those who study it to attain an understanding about
it still cannot reveal to us why consciousness and dimensions exist in the first place.”
“So then, what good is occultism, Master Fwap?”
I was beginning to feel both cold and frustrated.
Master Fwap’s explanation wasn’t clarifying anything about my feelings of “cosmic loneliness”.
Master Fwap understood my frustration. He said, “Be patient. Like most your age, you want to know everything all at once.
“But most of the important things that we learn in life can’t be understood immediately.
“Some take a lifetime, if not several lifetimes, to fully grasp.
“For example, let us consider how the movement of a non-physical dimension creates the feeling that you describe as ‘cosmic loneliness’.
“What you call ‘loneliness’, I call power.
“According to Buddhist occultism, the dimensions of power become more manifest and accessible to us in the late afternoon.”
Suddenly, looking directly into my eyes, he said, “Because you are psychic, you can feel those dimensions, even though you may not be aware of the true nature of what you are feeling, and of the opportunities that those particular dimensions of power can afford you.
“The feeling you describe as ‘cosmic loneliness’ is your emotional reaction to the intensity of the dimensions of power that are present in the late afternoon.
“These particular dimensions of power are often perceived as being spatially immense. It feels like they go one forever and ever, and in a way, they do.
“Your instinctive reaction, to the perception of that immensity, is to feel dwarfed by it.
“Since you have not made friends with that immensity, as I have, you tend to react to these dimensions of power by feeling small, insignificant, overwhelmed, and alienated.
“It is as if you were confronting the totality and immensity of the universe.
“You feel as if that immensity out there is about to crush you, and destroy your identity.
“Your reaction is to run for cover and seek something familiar, like the company of others you like or trust.
“But what you fail to see and understand, is the incredible beauty and the majestic power, that these particular dimensional planes can make available to you, in the late afternoons and early evenings.
“Some day, when you come to see and understand these things, you will be able to access the power and beauty of those dimensions and bring them into your own life.”
“How can I come to see this, Master Fwap?”
“It is good to have a healthy curiosity about the unknown that is not based on fear.
“It is the Tantric Buddhist belief that the visible universe is a kind of revolving doorway, that can take us back and forth between the invisible dimensions.
“Many of the invisible dimensions afford us magnificent and breath-taking views of the universe.
“Other dimensions can empower us, elevate our ability to perceive, and give us knowledge about our past lives.
“And still other dimensions can help us to be happier and more successful.
“Human beings usually train their young to run away from things that they don’t understand. It is an old, bad habit.
“They teach their children to hide from, rationalize, and be unduly afraid of death, the immensity of life, and the experiences of the spirit.
“Life is a delicate balance between
“The primary reason, that most human beings are so unhappy, is that they cut themselves off from the more complex and beautiful tonal ranges of existence.
“To be truly happy, we need to experience, balance, and create a synthesis between the high, mid-range, and lower frequencies that life affords us.
“Human beings cannot be happy, whether rich or poor, if they have cut themselves off from the magic of creation.
“Contemporary human beings have explained away the meaning of life, with science and logic, without explaining anything at all!
“And what they have not been able to explain away, they have chosen either to ignore, or to file away as being unimportant or irrelevant.
“The Buddhist view is not to be afraid of the immensity and the magic of life. Don’t seek to hide from the immensity of what you feel at sunset. Explore it, and learn from it.
“Through the twin practices of meditation and mindfulness, you can safely learn to experience all of the different vibratory ranges in the universe.
“Eventually you will learn to combine and recombine these frequencies within your own mind.
“The endless combinations that these frequencies can create are part of the infinite number of ecstasies that enlightened Buddhist masters experience every day.”
INTERDIMENSIONAL SNOWSTORMS
“Master Fwap, would you please tell me a little more about these high- and low-range frequencies?“
“Yes, of course. But first let me recite a mantra that sums up all of this. It is our Tibetan theory of relativity. We say,
“What does that mean, Master Fwap?”
“It means that enlightenment exists within all things.
“Everything that exists outside of us, also exists within us. This is one of the great mysteries of life.
“Enlightenment, which is the essence and the nexus of infinity and eternity, exists right here and now, within your own mind and heart.
“The high and low frequencies are the countless dimensional planes of light and darkness that exist both within and outside of us.
“There is a perfect interrelationship between the inner and the outer world. They correspond to each other.
“In order for you to fully understand the frequencies of life, you must first understand that all existence is made up of vibrating intelligent light.
“There are many types of inner and outer light, and they vibrate at different frequencies!
“The faster the vibration of light, the more ecstatic it is to experience.
“The real trick in life is to consciously alter your vibratory frequency. To speed it up.
“Each of us is born with a specific vibratory rate.
“You might say, we are each ‘intelligent energy’ that vibrates at a specific speed.
“In Buddhist yoga, we classify the different patterns of energy that sentient beings have as ‘soul types’.
“The particular vibratory rate of a specific ‘soul type’ is what causes it to incarnate within a specific universe, and also within a specific ‘body type’. ”
“So in other words, Master Fwap, the types of souls that dogs have, would be similar to each other, and the types of souls that human beings have, also would be similar to each other, in terms of their vibratory frequencies.
“But the soul type of dogs and of people are very different, is that right?”
“Yes,” he replied, “You have it exactly right. Dogs are one specific soul type, human beings are another soul type.”
“So then, Master Fwap, that means that the differences in the soul type within terriers, for example, wouldn’t be as great as the differences between a German Shepard and a Chihuahua, is that right?”
“Precisely! And all the soul types that incarnate in a particular dimension are somewhat similar.
“But to reincarnate in another dimension, it is necessary for a being to radically repattern itself by significantly altering its vibratory rate.”
“Master Fwap, I used to have a girlfriend who was very interested in reincarnation.
“She told me that every soul, when it is first created out of the ‘cosmic flux’, starts out in a basic form, like a rock.
“And that eventually, through the process of reincarnation in millions of lives, it moves forward and experiences being a plant, then an animal, and finally it reincarnates as a person.
“She said that in each kingdom into which a soul incarnates—mineral, plant, animal, and human—it starts at the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, and gradually, through the process of reincarnation, works its way up to the top.
“She said that every soul does that, and that eventually, every soul reaches enlightenment.
“Does reincarnation really work that way?”
“Not entirely,” he replied. “I know this is a very common explanation of the process of reincarnation, but it is much too simplistic.
“Normally, we start out as a specific soul type, and we remain in that soul type forever.
“We evolve as that soul type, but we don’t ever change soul types. We just develop the soul type that we have.”
Now I was confused. He had lost me again.
“Master Fwap, I don’t understand. Why would we stay in the same soul type forever?
“Why shouldn’t we evolve through reincarnation and eventually become enlightened?”
“Because we get used to being who we are, and we are drawn back repeatedly to reincarnate in the dimension we have become accustomed to.
“It is very hard for us to change it, because we would literally have to erase the multi-life being, who we have gotten used to being.
“That is why so few souls in the cosmos ever become enlightened.
“Almost all souls stay within the same soul typing.
“But on rare occasions there are souls that consciously redirect, and repattern themselves, and change their soul types, while their deepest essence remains the same.
“If they have the knowledge, power, and inclination to do so, they can change soul types at will—many, many times—as they pass through the endless interdimensional snow storms of eternity.
“In order to become enlightened, it is necessary for a soul to repattern itself thousands of times.
“This is what advanced Buddhist yoga is really all about.
“It is the science of repatterning the soul, within an incarnate body, and also, in the bardo plane, which the soul passes through in between incarnations.
“What is a ‘bardo?’ Master Fwap?”
“ ‘The bardo’ are the in-between planes that exist between birth and death.
“When you die, normally, you go through a series of different astral dimensions, before you reincarnate.
“You spend a specific time in each of these dimensions, according to your karma, then you come back to a familiar place, location, dimension, and body, and resume your multi-life journey again.
“Let me sum this up for you. Very few beings become enlightened.
“To become enlightened, a being must transcend its attachment to its familiar form, and go through a series of repatternings, over the course of tens of thousands of incarnations, until that soul finally incarnates in an enlightened soul type.
“Then it must go through the training and discipline of evolving, even further, beyond that soul type, to become nirvana, which of course, is beyond soul types and repatterning.
“Try to understand, that it is not better to be an enlightened soul type, than it is to do or be anything else.
“It is a personal choice.
“You may be drawn to the experience of enlightenment.
“If that is the case, then you will learn to repattern yourself in an upward ascension of vibratory soul types.
“If that is your fate, it is both challenging and happy, because unlike most beings, you will eventually experience nirvana directly.
“And as a result, you will gain the knowledge, and experience the ecstasy, that is beyond expression.
“In an interdimensional snowstorm, one snowflake does not have a better journey than another snowflake does. They are simply different.”
I had become so involved in listening to Master Fwap’s explanation of reincarnation, that I hadn’t even noticed that the sun was setting.
I still had to snowboard down the mountain before it became any colder and darker.
“Don’t worry!” Master Fwap said, as if he were reading my thoughts. “I will ride down with you on your board and help guide you.”
And so the two of us held on to each other, as we sped down the mountain, cutting rapidly in and out of the deep powder, on my small four-and-a-half-foot-long snowboard—two snowflakes, blowing through eternity, in an endless interdimensional snowstorm.