In the process of meditation, we find that we are not one continuous personality, we are not a body, that what our real being is, is light. We are one continuous consciousness and this consciousness is a consciousness of light. This is our nature, our substance and our essence.

When you meditate very deeply and go inside yourself or experience yourself, that is all there is — one continuous, all-pervasive, perfect, all-blissful consciousness.

When we have our eyes open, when we’re in the world, we don’t see that continuous consciousness in quite the same way that we do when we’re in meditation. Rather, we see it in manifestation.

All the peoples, places, beings, and forms that you experience in this or any other world are supported by that continuous consciousness that is the soul of reality.

Just as a great fleet of ships floats upon the ocean, supported by it, so all of life floats upon an essence, a fathomless essence.

All things arise from this essence, are sustained by it, float in it for a while and then one day they dissolve back into it.

This essence is not physical, although it sustains the physical. It is not even spirit in the conventional sense of the term spirit. When most people say spirit, they’re referring to what is termed the subtle physical or astral, the etheric planes of being.

It is invisible and yet manifests itself in and through the visible. This is its mystery, the mystery of eternity.

In meditation, in self-discovery, we seek to make our mind quiet so that we can perceive this essence, this eternal reality which is existence.

When you do this, a happiness and joy fills every atom of your being — that is beyond description — because there is such goodness, such completion in the source of life, in the essence, which Lao Tzu referred to as the Tao, which some refer to as God, some nirvana.

There is such completion and perfection there, that all else seems immaterial, in the sense that we have gone into the very nature, into the very heart of existence, and there we are complete.

Whereas when we’re in the world of women and men we see all around us division, partiality, cars running down the freeways, people talking, wars, birth, maturation, decay, and death. Plants, forests, cities, slums, stars, all of the things that we are conversant with in the physical world, follow a cycle and this cycle is nature.

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Nature

Each day

you open a doorway to that which is always there

When you get caught up in the storms of your passions and emotions, you forget.

Already you have forgotten — since you came into this life — that which you came from.

And if you look really deeply inside yourself,

you will see,

you’ll see this all-luminous perfection.

As you become more conscious of this all-luminous perfection,

you will find that it will have a great effect upon your life.

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You will find that you no longer exist in the planes of being — of awareness — that most human beings do.

At first this may seem frightening or awesome.

Because you observe — after your adventures in meditative consciousness — you observe that your personality is dissolving.

Or it might be more correct to say that your personality is only a shell, it’s only a very thin cover.

Everything that you thought yourself to be, what you assumed you were — your memories, emotions, thoughts, feelings and concerns — are only a thin, thin shell. The outer perimeter of your being.

But inside, your being is

And just as a snake sheds its skin, so as

you shed your personality.

The person you grew up with and have come to know over the years begins to change.

You’ve outgrown

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But still, in this world, it’s necessary to get through the day. Unless you plan to go off to a high mountaintop and you have all the supplies you need and you never have to deal with anyone and can sit perpetually absorbed in that state of meditation.

If, like most of us, you live and work in the world, it’s necessary

It’s necessary to learn to deal with your turbulent emotions.

You can sit absorbed in meditation, and be nothing but that perfect ecstasy and light beyond any description.

But then, after meditation, an emotional maelstrom may sweep around you and through you, pulling you into it.

Fears come through you, doubts, ideas, great inspirations, passions, loves, hates, sorrows.

Wonderful feelings of love and self-giving. But they sweep through you.

A moment ago you were absorbed in meditation. There was no question. There was no answer.

There was only a still perfection so complete that you actually forgot about this life and this world. It went away for you.

You have reached the purpose of fulfillment of human life. You have merged with the Self, that which you really are and we all are. You have become one with God.

You’ve gone up to the top of the mountain. And not simply talked with God, but merged.

But now, here you are again, in the world — after this incredible transcendental experience where you were absolute knowledge and absolute light and absolute perfection.

And your phone is ringing and someone wants to talk to you.

And the bills are waiting to be paid. And the world is running away in its own ways. The newspaper is telling you of fresh disasters. Your body is growing old. You’re tired.

The energy fields from all the other human beings — who are so caught up in a storm of turbulent emotions — sweep through the world every day. They touch you and affect you even if you’re not physically with others. Their energies, those energies that make this world a world of constant transition.

You’re sensitive.

How do you deal with it all?

Ideally you would maintain that perfect tranquility and joy, that radiance — which can assume any form or any emotion — in and through all of your activities.

But some days that’s tough to do.

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So, the caretaker personality is a way that has been evolved whereby you can deal with the world, your families, friends, your own emotions, while you exist in the world.

When it’s not necessary for you to use the personality form, you can put it on the shelf and let it rest.

And you can just be absorbed in the all-blissful light.

You can be in complete awareness, in other words, using every part of your mind, every part of your being, absorbed in its ultimate purpose.

When you have to step into the world, you need to wear something. At home you may lie in bed with nothing on or at best go around the house in a little robe, but when you go out into the world you have to put on a uniform.

If you’re in the business world you may be wearing one uniform. If you’re playing sports it may be another uniform. If you’re going out with your friends it may be a casual uniform. If you’re a nurse it’s a white uniform. In other words, we wear different types of clothing.

We try and wear clothing that’s suitable to an occasion. If you’re going mountain climbing, you’re not going to wear a three-piece designer suit.

If you’ve been invited to have lunch with the president, you’re not going to go in your jogging shorts. Unless, of course, you’re Woody Allen.

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The caretaker personality … is a way of choosing what you wear, not simply in terms of clothing but in terms of personality.

As you meditate and go more deeply within yourself, you come to see that you don’t have one personality, you have many, many personalities.

“Know thyself” is a splendid idea because it is that absolute Self that we come to know. That timeless reality. But at the same time it’s also apropos to know thy selves, because you have many, many selves.

There are many, many personality forms that operate through you. And as you peel back the layers of your outer being you come to see that many selves are what you are, and that these selves all speak, they all have different voices; they talk through you.

And of course, beyond these many selves is that one immutable, perfect light.

All of your selves float, suspended, as a fleet of great ships floats in the ocean.

For a while our attention is focused on one ship. We’re on one board … we’re onboard one ship, experiencing what’s there, and then we find ourselves in another ship, then another.

So the different selves that float in a suspension of consciousness — this aggregate of different realities, which is what you are really made up of, of different worlds — speak from time to time. But these are inner selves.

We have inner selves, but we have outer personality forms.

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So, what I’d like to do, is present a few caretaker personalities. That you can adopt to work in the world and to have fun and to be joyous with.

These are uniforms that you wear, clothing that you put on.

Wear that caretaker personality which is apropos, which is appropriate, for that you are doing.

Don’t be afraid to be creative and change these caretaker personalities.

Modify them as you will and you’ll find that they tend to modify themselves in time.

I’m suggesting that you be an architect of your own being. That just as you can choose your clothes, so in advanced yoga and meditation, you learn to choose your personalities.

This occurs when you have the realization that the personality is not really your real self, but just like your clothing, a transitory experience.

If you had become convinced one day, when you were walking around, that your clothing was your skin, you might always wear the same clothing. You didn’t realize that there was anything underneath.

So most individuals don’t realize that there’s something beyond their personalities that actually the personality is something that is not the complete self but it’s something transitory that comes and goes, whereas the real self is that which is eternal, unchanging and perfect.

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In the early stages of meditation, let us say the first seven years — the first seven to ten years — that you’re intently practicing meditation every day.

Those years in which you’re sweeping your island and cleaning it up, bringing discipline into your life, eliminating and controlling unhappy thoughts, unhappy emotions.

Learning to go deeper and deeper into that still and perfect reality of being.

Brahman, the one without a second.

There are two basic caretaker personalities that are very, very helpful for dealing with the world and for yourself, with yourself.

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The first caretaker personality is the child. The second is the warrior.

Each has its own conditions, each its own strengths. One is appropriate in one situation, the other in another situation.

You can alternate them by day or by minute as is necessary.

And you’ll find it easier and easier to alternate them as the flow of consciousness becomes freer in your being from your meditation.

If the water is frozen into ice then the ships can’t move. Our fleet, if the ocean is frozen, is locked tight. When the sun comes, when the light comes and the ice thaws, it’s very easy to move the ships around, there’s nothing to it at all. They just glide back and forth or we don’t even have to direct them. The wind will blow them where they’re supposed to be, you might say.

So the first is the child. The caretaker personality of the child is innocence. Just think of the idyllic, if you will, qualities of the child — excitement, love, trust, humility, purity, joy.

I’m speaking of a very young child, a very good child, about age four. The child who looks with wonder and awe at all of the world, who sees magic in everything.

Who is not preoccupied with her or himself, who becomes absorbed totally in the moment.

The child lives in the moment.

If the child meets with a frustration and cries and is upset, within a moment the child can be running off to play someplace else.

Having forgotten. Not being hung up.

The child who doesn’t sit around and live in the world of memory. But lives in the moment, all that matters is the moment.

And this is the child who grows, who learns the language in a year, who adopts concepts.

As most people get older they tend to lose the elasticity of their consciousness.

The child has a perfect subtle physical being. The child is luminous, radiant. The child doesn’t know that it can’t do certain things. It isn’t filled with fears.

These are just some images of the caretaker personality of the child.

You can use this caretaker personality — in other words you can enter into this mode of consciousness — you can choose to do so,

The child should not be around people who would abuse it because a child has no natural defenses.

Some people make a great mistake. We saw a lot of this in the 1960s when a lot of people tried to become like children again. They were using various chemicals — LSD, psilocybin, mescaline and things like that. These chemicals did to a degree loosen up the ice of consciousness. However, they did so in a very volatile way. It was like taking a sledgehammer, and going out, and smashing the ice, and it only broke through in certain places.

And then it would freeze again as soon as the effect of the drug wore off, and even during the experience it was not clear.

In other words, psychedelic drugs gave, and give, people a certain glimpse of that which lies beyond.

But it’s like going to the fun house and looking in one of those mirrors that change your shape. You don’t see an accurate reflection. You may be very tall or very small or very fat, as you look in one of those fun house mirrors.

So the view that drugs give — while it is a reflection to some extent of the nature of reality — is bent out of shape and it doesn’t last.

Also, those drugs do have a detrimental effect on the subtle physical being.

The problem with the people from the 60s was that they adopted — most of them — the caretaker personality of the child.

They found while they used these various drugs and it opened their being up, they were able to make some tremendous changes.

In their being — in the structure of their being.

Which was originally why people like Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert were very fascinated by the potential of these drugs.

They found when they used them …

That a person who in a sense might be fixated, who couldn’t change — an alcoholic who for 30 years had been an alcoholic and there seemed no real possibility of change, who’d tried everything — might take one of these drugs and the effect was so strong that that person would actually change.

They would become a different person, perhaps a person who didn’t drink.

They were initially very excited, as serious psychologists, about the possibilities that these new chemicals offered.

And as they used these chemicals … they found they had glimpses of eternity with them.

However, the problem with these chemicals was that the reflection is not clear. It’s bent.

And that the effect, the change, does not always last.

In some cases it did.

But it was a rougher change — the transition wasn’t smooth.

And also, that these chemicals very often would have a negative effect.

People who used them too much would become very spaced-out.

It undid the “glue” of their awareness, but the glue didn’t necessarily re-bond properly.

The personality structure would partially dissolve or two might meld together.

Or in some cases the glue just wouldn’t rejoin properly.

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These chemicals do offer certain opportunities for total and intensive change.

But they have to be used very precisely.

In a very specific way.

And even then, all they can do is give someone an initial boost and get them out of where they are.

If the person is stuck — they can provide a quick change.

Then the person would have to leave the chemicals behind. And adopt more traditional … not the traditional but means that worked better, such as meditation.

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Or of course, which I recommend to most people who have not used those chemicals, is to not bother to use them.

To use meditation directly to disassociate yourself from the fixated personality and to learn to adopt the caretaker personalities.

While meditation may take a little bit longer, it works.

The psychedelic drugs that people use to do this only last a short time.

You come down, in other words.

Whereas when you meditate, as time goes on, you gently acclimate yourself to living in a more fluid state of being.

And the power becomes greater and greater as the years go by. You become more and more fluid, whereas with the psychedelic drugs you reach a plateau and stop.

With meditation you’ll never stop.

And you don’t have to worry about the interfering possibilities, the negative side effects, in other words.

Persons who have used these chemicals should feel that that’s what life gave them at the time. If you used LSD or mescaline or psilocybin to change the personality structure … then don’t feel that you did anything wrong.

Life gave you those chemicals to use, to see something.

Now, you may not have used them properly.

You may have gotten caught up in just tripping out and having sense experiences. And not using them properly — properly meaning not in any specific way.

This seemed to be the great controversy between Leary and Kesey at the time.

Leary saying that, well, there’s a certain way to use these chemicals, a ritual way, for self-discovery, and Kesey saying … taking a more Taoist point of view — don’t think about it too much, just do it, there is no right and there is no wrong.

Both interesting points of view.

But ultimately both irrelevant. Lost in time. Washed away by eternity.

So if you’ve used these drugs to alter the personality structure, just feel that that was right at the time, but that is no longer right.

Even marijuana alters the personality structure, and hashish, but in my estimation it doesn’t do it very well.

So I think it’s better not to use any drugs whatsoever. And to deal with meditation, which is millions and millions of times more powerful. And does it absolutely perfectly.

So these folks in the 60s used these various chemicals and some do today. And of course they have been used for thousands of years.

And people who use these chemicals usually adopt the personality of the child afterwards. So these were the “flower children”. The flower children, without knowing perhaps what they were doing consciously by using these chemicals, were bringing out the second caretaker personality.

However the flower children modality doesn’t really work in this world. The flower child has trouble dealing with the rapid transit system, with the complexities of a high-tech society.

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So you can use the caretaker personality of the child. At home, with friends, on a walk by yourself. Be a child. Look at life through the eyes of a child.

Christ advised that unless you enter the kingdom of heaven as a child, you don’t get in.

That’s his point. You have to have that way of looking at things. It’s a very safe, very pure way.

If you live in a monastery you can perhaps — unless you’re running it — stay in that pure caretaker personality all the time.

We’ve seen an image of it, of course, in The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky, in Alyosha.

This is the caretaker personality of the child.

When we think of many saints, innocent, pure — St. Francis! — that’s the caretaker personality of the child.

A very good one to use. I recommend it highly.

Some times.

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But when you deal with the world more directly, I suggest the caretaker personality of the warrior.

The warrior is calm and efficient.

The warrior uses discipline. The warrior is happy!

The weapon of the warrior is laughter.

The warrior learns to be impeccable.

The warrior also is always at the beck and call of others.

The warrior can be of service.

While the commoners in the land may have fallen down to the lower depths,

And even while others may not be interested in

The warrior does these things.

In a trashed-out world, the warrior … shines … in armor.

The warrior never feels sorry for him or herself.

The warrior doesn’t have time for self-indulgence, for self-pity.

The warrior will feel a certain amount of remorse for a comrade who has been lost, but then goes forward again.

The warrior doesn’t look back.

The warrior is never at rest. While the warrior takes breaks — a little R&R — the warrior is always practicing and training.

Even though there may not be a battle for another year, the warrior is always staying in training.

And the warrior loves … the art of being a warrior. And experiences deep kinship and comradeship on a very mature level with other warriors. They embrace. They live freely.

And the warrior has the true humility … if the warrior is a spiritual warrior.

So if you adopt this caretaker personality,

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I often recommend two of the books of Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan and Tales of Power. Because don Juan and don Genaro, who are Carlos’s spiritual teachers, teach Carlos the way of the warrior.

And as you read those two books, you’ll get a deeper sense. Not so much by Carlos’s experiences. But by what they say — as reflected in the writings of Carlos — what this “warrior” is all about.

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So you can think of one image, of the warrior. And you can adopt this mode — just put yourself into that place, into that consciousness, when you go out and deal with the world.

You can think of the child who just reaches to God … in innocence!

Who just is absorbed in joy at seeing a flower, at being with someone. Who grows ever so quickly.

And remember that the warrior is always humble.

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So these two basic caretaker personalities can be used when you deal with your being.

You can use them with your internal emotions.

If doubt, or fear, or anger enters in you, be like the child.

The child focuses on beauty. Or you could say the child sees beauty in all things.

The warrior knows what’s what. The warrior knows that there’s both good and bad, but the child may not know that there’s good and bad.

Because perhaps there isn’t for the child.

The warrior applauds good and fights against bad. Against evil.

The child walks through this world the innocent, seeing light and joy in everything.

The warrior is always looking over his shoulder to see if there’s someone behind him.

The warrior has courage. The child has flexibility.

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Use these two caretaker personalities in the first years of your meditative practice. Adopt them. Use them as images for what you should be.

Modify them as you will.

You’ll find that they’ll help you terrifically in your spiritual growth and development.

Throw away the personality form that you have now.

The only reason you fixate is because your mind tells you that you’re a certain kind of person.

The reason the child grows more quickly than you do is that the child isn’t fixated. It doesn’t think, “I am this, I am not this. I like chocolate, I don’t like vanilla.”

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As you advance further in your self-discovery you will find that there are other caretaker personalities that you can adopt.

These are perhaps a little more subtle and I don’t really recommend that you emulate them until many, many, many, many years of meditation have passed.

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One is the witness.

Feel that you are a witness to eternity.

You can’t do anything, you can’t act.

All you can do is observe and witness.

You’re like a piece of paper on which someone writes down the history of the world.

So feel, in other words, in this caretaker personality, that you are not active, that you are very, very passive.

And as you watch your life go by you, as you watch people, places and things, don’t feel that you can act. Oh, you’ll observe yourself acting.

But realize that the infinite is acting through you, that you’re only an instrument of eternity.

Simply witness all that you see.

Don’t have a sense of self as actor, as doer.

Feel rather that God is the doer. God does everything in you and through you.

At best all you can do is witness and observe the play of reality. The play of life.

As it moves through your being.

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Another advanced caretaker personality that you can use

Feel that you are a visionary.

That your main purpose in life is just to see.

And constantly look more deeply into all things.

Never let your vision rest.

Constantly look through eternity.

Always trying to see that which is at the end of eternity.

Be concerned with conditions.

Feel that you are a seer.

In other words, you are vision.

And that’s your sole purpose in life and in existence.

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Another caretaker personality is the dream.

Feel that you are a dream, that you don’t really exist at all.

As you walk through life, everyone and everything you see is part of that dream.

Enjoy the dream and

Somewhere you are asleep dreaming yourself into this dream.

So remember that you are at once that which is in the dream,

And if you can wake up within your dream,

If suddenly you realize, in other words, during a dream, while you’re in the dream, while you’re one of the beings that’s in the dream, that it is a dream, then you should be able to manipulate that dream.

You should be able to say, “Well, here I am in this dream. And since all things are possible in the dream, I can create whatever I like.”

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Another caretaker personality is the sage.

You should only employ this personality after you’ve been going into samadhi for some time.

To feel that you are wisdom and light.

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Another caretaker personality

Feel that you are a living sacrifice, that is to say,

You’ll maintain yourself just enough to keep yourself going — so you can be supportive.

In other words, your life is the life of constant self-sacrifice.

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There are many, many more advanced caretaker personalities.

When the time comes they’ll come to you.

Try and be conscious, though,

Realize

But that you need to fashion yourself in a certain image of perfection.

And you need to catch on to one. And they’re elusive at first, it’s like a fish swimming through the water — you can reach to grab it and it’s gone.

Realize that you are not the body or the mind,

Yet that you have a surface being that’s in a constant state of revolution.

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Don’t feel that you have to be stuck with the personality you’ve got now because as you meditate you’ll watch it dissolve and go away.

But you do need a personal form to deal with the world.

I suggest that you adopt, on an alternating basis, the caretaker personality of the child and the warrior.

And then, after many, many years of meditation, that you try some of the other more advanced caretaker personality forms.

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Whenever you have the opportunity, however, push all the forms away and be the formless.

When you have the chance,

whatever it may be. There are many, many of them.

Let them all fall away.

Sit in meditation and be absorbed. Be absorbed beyond time, place or condition. Let the radiant light of existence be. You.

Be absorbed in eternity.

And then use these caretaker personalities … as an artist uses colors to paint beautiful pictures.

Paint the beautiful picture of your life.

In the beginning, your paintings may not look too good —they don’t when you’re learning, you know.

But as time goes on you’ll become a master artist. A Rembrandt, a van Gogh, Matisse.

And you’ll make perfect paintings. Each one different, each one unique.

Each one a reflection of God.

Which is all that we really are anyway.

We’re just a passing image.